Snapshot vs. Big Picture

Well, today I finished reading the entire Bible in a year for the thirtieth year. Sounds pretty spiritual doesn’t it? Not really. I’m a desperate man, desperately in need of a Savior, and desperate to hear from God on a daily basis. No matter what happens in life: to claim His promises, accept and learn from His chiding, be encouraged and comforted, be loved and love, and most of all live in the faith of affirmations that Jesus is sovereign and with me through it all. And through it all He is meeting my needs.

I’ve always been somewhat of a simple man; yet a spiritually needy (poor in spirit) and a fully human man with imperfections, shortsightedness, faults, regrets, bias’s, opinions, distrusts, wavering’s, emotional ups and downs, and one who is constantly fighting his own demons and often feeling defeated.

But one thing I do know and am learning is that God loves me as I am, not as I should be. If He did love me as I should be, that would be conditional love. I’m also learning to finally treat people the way I want to be treated…loving all without judgment. I’m understanding Jesus more and more when He said, “God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17

2015 has been one of the hardest years of my life. Stripped of everything. Financial ruin. Family turmoil. Seasons of hopelessness and despair, loneliness and depression, physical anomalies, abnormal stresses and anxiety, humiliation, worry, and a term I coined…mind fog. Yet I hold on to Jesus. When I am naked before God, I come to the realization that I must clothe myself with the garment (the presence) of Jesus Christ. (Romans 13:14) And there is no better way to live in His presence than to be a student of His Word (in prayer and meditation), and allow it to do its work in my being and through my lifestyle.

THE SNAPSHOT

Early in November, I read an interesting passage from the book of Job. Now I’m not saying I am anywhere near the man of God that Job was, but suffice it to say, on many levels I can relate.

Job 6:8-13 “Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant my desire.  I wish he would crush me. I wish he would reach out his hand and kill me.  At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One. 11 But I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for.  Do I have the strength of a stone? Is my body made of bronze?  No, I am utterly helpless, without any chance of success.”

When I read this passage again, God reminded me of something He showed me years ago. “You feel this way right now as Job did then, but Chapter 42 hadn’t been written when Job felt that way…stop looking at the snapshot of your life when I possess the big picture of your life. And today, like Job, I can say with all integrity: “But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and he will stand upon the earth at last.” Job 19:25

One of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning, wrote: “Nothing can harm you permanently, no suffering is irrevocable, no loss is lasting, no defeat is more than transitory, no disappointment is conclusive. Jesus did not deny the reality of suffering, discouragement, disappointment, frustration and death; he simply stated that the kingdom of God would conquer all of these horrors, that the Father’s love is so prodigal that no evil could possibly resist it.”

THE BIG PICTURE

CHAPTER 42

Job 42:12 “So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning.” This is what Job could not fathom in Job 6.

Each moment of each day is the gift of a snapshot…whether blurred or focused, it’s only a snapshot. I can’t live in the future because God is the only One who holds those keys. To live life’s journey in the Big Picture is where ruthless trust abides as I trust in Him to unlock the doors to my future.

So yes…2016 will be another year to read through the Bible in a year and live life to the fullest in the Snapshots while ruthlessly trusting my Savior for the Big Picture.

9/11 A Reflection

Back in 2001, I was the Youth Pastor for Mendham Hills Community Church in NJ. Below is an article  I wrote for the church newsletter regarding 9/11. I'm glad I revisited this prose because it brought back all the emotions of that day. Here it is:

YOUTH TRUTH

November, 2001

A Different Kind of Turkey

As far as individuals, families, towns, cities and country go, it’s been a difficult couple of months.  I know that you have probably heard it all in regards to September 11.  “Let it go” you say.  I can’t and I won’t.  Our world and our country will never be the same.  My children will not grow up with the same freedoms that I had growing up.  Maybe He will come again in our lifetime.

On September 23, I had the privilege and opportunity of taking Ben DeWitt (a Senior High student) into NYC.  The intent was to minister.  The result was life changing. 

When we arrived in Penn Station and onto 7^th Avenue, I was expecting the “smell” that I heard so much about.  But I noted nothing out of the ordinary smells of the city….exhaust fumes mingled with the stench of urine, subway steam, hot pretzels and roasted nuts still had their grip!

First we headed downtown to go to Nyack College Manhattan Campus (NCMC) (on Worth Street and Broadway).  When we came up the subway stairs at City Hall, on Park Row, the smell of the tragedy hit me in the face like a dirty, used dishrag.  All I could think about was Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 2:16.  “The smell of death.”  I’m sorry that I’m using the verse is totally out of context, but that is all I could think of.  And all I kept muttering to myself…..”It smells like death….it smells like death….Oh Jesus…..it smells like death…it smells like death because that is what it is!!”

I used to work at Pace University, right across the street from City Hall.  I used to walk down Park Row almost every day during lunch.  But today, walking down Park Row was like walking in a surreal nightmare.  It was very ominous.  The smell and the soot and the debris and the people…..their silence was deafening.   Everything looked so gray.  We were able to get about 1 block from “Ground 0” looking in from Broadway.  I couldn’t believe it.  Words could not describe the sense of shock and vulnerability!

The streets where familiar dual shadows loomed were now well lit by the rays of unwelcome sunshine.

When we walked a few blocks up to NCMC, we met up with people from 1^st Alliance Church who were also going out to minister.  They gave Ben and I a case of books by Luis Palau titled, “Where is God When Bad Things Happen.”  We were to give the books away to people we thought would appreciate it.

Our plan was to go back down to Ground 0 for one last look, before we headed up to Union Square Park on 14^th Street. 

On the train back to NJ, I wrote that I was speechless, shocked, and numb.  Here are the points I pondered in regards to “Ground 0”:

·        The “smell of death” is eternally singed in my nose.  Indescribable smell…literally. 

·        The absolute horror of the distance that the billowing smoke rolled.  The fear people must have had for blocks beyond the towers.  Dust and debris seemed endless but lasted for at least 5 blocks in either direction, but mostly north and east.

·        The people who were there to see the destruction and the horrified and shocked look on their faces as they gazed at “Ground O” and the surrounding area.

·        As Ben and I were circling around to go back to the subway, we headed uptown on Nassau Street.  There was an art gallery/frame shop.  It seemed like it was one of the only stores opened for business.  A vertical picture of the World Trade Center caught my eye and I went in.  When I went in, it was obvious that the proprietor was from the Middle East. The hurt and shattered look on his face spoke volumes.  When I asked how he was really doing, he said, "not so good…" He was from Turkey and he told me that people weren't treating him very nicely.  It was obvious that he couldn’t speak English too well.  So I gave him a copy of the book and bought a copy of the WTC poster.  I told him to read the book and that God would speak to him.  His countenance changed and he was so appreciative….appreciative of the fact that I didn’t profile him. 

The Different Kind of Turkey!

Later that week, (on Friday, the 28^th) I had the opportunity to take 3 other youth pastors into the city to show them around.  After looking at the devastation, one kept stuttering, “It’s…It’s….It’s….”  I finished his derailed train of thought exclaiming, “It’s not a movie anymore!”  My friend replied, “Yeah, that’s it…it’s real!”

As the 3 pastors and I walked back up Nassau Street, I knew I had to go visit my new friend (I won’t even attempt at trying to spell his name!) from Turkey in the art gallery.  As soon as he saw me, he lit up.  I asked if he read the book, he said no, couldn’t read English.  Then he said that his brother had been reading it and translating it for him!  He said that they both never heard about God that way!  I then gave him a booklet titled “Your Most Important Relationship.”  It’s a gospel presentation.  He said he would have his brother read and explain it to him.  As I’m trying to review the booklet with him, his brother walks in.  I said, “Oh, is he the one reading the book?”  “No, other brother read book,” he replied.  So, my friend introduces me to this yet another brother.  As I shook his hand I told him that I was going to pray for them and especially their business.  Tears welled up in the brother’s eyes and he quietly said, “thank you.”  My friend just smiled.  When I came out of the store, the same “stuttering” youth pastor (who was eavesdropping in the front of the store!) said he couldn’t believe the reactions of these two Turkish men.  He was amazed at how softened they were just by someone caring.

Lesson learned?  Don’t profile. Love with Christ’s love.

Thank you Jesus for Your unconditional love that crosses all boundaries in this country and abroad!

REV 5:9 And they (the elders) sang a new song: "You( Jesus) are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.