Song of Songs 7:10 I belong to my beloved, and his
desire is for me.
How long will it take for me to realize that God
really desires me?! After all, I belong to Him, so why not?! Why not realize
this glorious reality? Is it pride? Is it guilt? Is it a feeling of unworthiness?
Is it that sense that God is so big and I am so miniscule that He should even
give me a second thought? But He does! (Psalm 8:3-4 – “When I consider your
heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set
in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you
care for them?”)
You see, if you re-read all of those questions,
there is a thread theme. Me. It’s amazing how I can turn even His furious love
for me against me because of me! How idiotic! How ironic! How “I!”
Self-effacement and the feelings expressed are just those; selfish feelings of
deception that would lure me away from the intimacy that my Savior longs for.
The only One I should be seeing (and others seeing in me as well) is Christ. If
I truly “clothe myself with Christ” (Romans 13:14), the only reality of what I
should see is Him. Not a mask. Not a costume. Not some false religious garb. Rather
a consummation. A filling with the Holy Spirit so powerful that the most
religious and the most irreligious of people will see Christ in me, the hope of
glory.
It’s usually during those dark times when those
questions are asked. When is seems like the Light is dim, when prayers are
stale, when faith seems somehow muted, and when no matter how hard I try to
climb the ladder to a right relationship with Him, I keep falling off. But God
doesn’t want me to climb. Climbing will just weary me. Climbing is just being
religious. He just wants me to rest. Rest in Him. The only place He wants me to
climb is on His lap to a place of safety, as a trusting son would climb upon
his father’s lap. The Father longs for me to see His Son, by His Spirit, in me.
Fully engaged. Fully intimate. “Look me in the eyes”, he says. Hear me when I
say, “My desire is for you…you are mine.” And now, with tears, as I look in His
eyes, I begin to understand what is perfect trust, peace, grace, mercy,
unconditional love, protection, care, nurturing, and everything I truly need to
persevere in this crazy life…this crazy world.
Now I see, I truly “belong to my beloved.”
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