Salt or Pepper

“(Food) does not show its real taste till you have added the salt.” (C.S. Lewis)

I love salt…on just about everything one would expect to put salt on. Especially margaritas and street pretzels!  And having somewhat (controlled) high blood pressure, I know it’s not really good for me. But to be honest,  it’s just such an amazing flavor enhancer. Chocolate covered pretzels? Shoot me now!

In my life, I want to be a flavor enhancer. Jesus called us the salt of the earth. "You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor?” (Matthew 5:13)

After four years of literally the most stressful time in my life, I’ve taken the last few months to spend a lot of time alone to decompress. Been doing a lot of writing, praying, and reading. Admittedly, some wasteful moments catching up on movies and TV.  Both of which really do have a way of speaking to the soul especially if one discerns some redemptive qualities. I’m not making excuses…there is a lot of redemption out there if we look for it. Too many “Christians” criticize the media and entertainment as luring us into its secular trap (and sometimes it does). And this is the exact place I sense God wants us to be as true salt…flavoring the industry with His presence. Not unlike Mark Burnett and Roma Downey did with The Bible series on the History Channel.  

In the process of stressors and decompression over the recent past, I feel in many ways, I have lost my saltiness. I’ve been walking around with self-pity, lack of trust, grumbling and complaining (if even to myself), yet knowing through this all God loves me unconditionally, even granted me peace and allowed me to wallow in my disillusionment. More like pepper than salt. Frankly, the last five or six months the focus has been on restoring my soul. Breathing. Breathing in the breath of God. And my lungs are filling up again. It has been awesome to walk in praise and thanksgiving and see Him use me to shatter stereotypical illusions that people have about Western Evangelical Christians, and more importantly, Jesus.

The transformation from pepper to salt isn’t easy. It’s painful actually. In the natural I want to think that the world and God owe me something. (Pretty idiotic!) The world owes me nothing and I don’t deserve anything from God who already paid everything and expressed His unconditional love, mercy and grace through Jesus. He is the focus; not the world, not religion, it’s all about Jesus. My life verse for over 30 years has been Philippians 3:10 – “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death...".

I’ve been learning that one can’t experience resurrection power without experiencing suffering and death to self. If I want to be salty again, I must continue to die to self and live for God. It’s so liberating when I reach the place of thinking no one owes me anything, that self-pity is a mask of selfishness, and that grumbling and complaining are masks of distrust. The masks are off. 

And salt has never tasted so good.

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again?" (Mark 9:50)

Crown of Beauty

Crown of Beauty

Jesus’ promises are true

He saves, heals and delivers

He truly makes all things new

He binds up the broken hearted

He turns my sorrow into dancing

I dance with joy that my Savior lives

For He has granted me His favor with Light

In paths of darkness

No longer in despair

I’m robed in a garment of praise

He’s called me to be an oak of righteousness

For the obvious display of His splendor

I’ve seen my life an ash heap

Burned so much…I’m dry

He blew away the smoldering dust

Bids me to come and bow

As I bow He lifts my head and

Looks in my tear filled eyes

And bestows on me a crown

And then I hear His voice, “Because of Me,

you are beautiful, and here’s your crown to prove it.”

“The crown I wore for you bloodied and

Painful

is replaced by the one I bestow on you as

Beautiful.”

 CVA 5/7/2013

Inspired by Isaiah 61:1-3

Let's Get Real

4/29/13 Let’s get real.

"It is useless to break your head over the same old details week after week and year after year, pruning the same ten twigs off the top of the tree. Get at the root: union with God….drop everything and hide yourself to find Him in the silence where He is hidden within you, and listen to what He has to say. There is only one thing to live for: love. …what pains me is to see my own soul so full of movement and shadows and vanities, cross-currents of dry wind stirring up the dust and rubbish of desire. I don’t expect to avoid this humiliation in my life, but when will I become cleaner, more simple, more loving? ‘Have mercy on me O God. My sin is always before me.’” Thomas Merton

Even though I know that I have been cleansed of my sin by the forgiving blood of Jesus, doesn’t mean I’m (we’re) perfect. But His mercy is perfect. His grace is perfect. His love is perfect.

Mercy-Refuge

2-21-12 Mercy-Refuge

Psalm 57:1 “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. (New Living Translation)

"Be good to me, God—and now! I've run to you for dear life. I'm hiding out under your wings until the hurricane blows over." (The Message)

Sometimes when I feel like I’m smothered, it’s not from the things of life…It’s that He’s sheltering me in the shadow of His wings. Sometimes He has to squeeze hard to keep me in His wings, for all too often I want to go out into the middle of the storm on my own…And He knows I’ll get eaten alive.

Single in the City 5/1/2013

FOR ALL MY SINGLE FRIENDS (Especially the Christian)...Gut check, brutal honesty. If you feel down and discouraged because you may not have a “significant other” in your life, I might have an answer. You see, I’ve been struggling with being single (over 4 years now!). I’m an Italian, hopeless, horny, romantic and desperately want a God fearing woman in my life. And don’t get me going on internet dating!! It can be easy with internet dating to push my agenda and disregard God’s. God does use internet dating, I won’t deny that. Just don’t pursue it unless you have clarity from God that the time is right. Now, I’m not gonna lie…I’ve offered myself to God many times in prayer, “If you want me to be single for the rest of my life, I will.” Deep down I vacillate on really meaning that prayer. But I know God’s purpose is for a different reason. He wants me to have Him be the focus of my intimacy. I remember the single days before I got married…I was consumed by Jesus. The depth of intimacy was so real it was almost as if I could reach out and touch Him. God is calling me to return to my first love…that depth of intimacy with Him. And I know that the intimacy that is renewed with Jesus is going to have a transference effect on the woman He chooses for me. Revelation 2:3-4, “You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.” Wow...can I relate to that...the encouragement and the chiding! But I am building that intimacy once again. This may sound strange but God has opened a door for me to live in NYC to decompress. Most people escape the City to decompress, but I thrive on it! It has been 5 months and I’m just starting to get back to my spiritually intimate reality. And it’s awesome. Blurry eyes are coming back into focus…on the Cross. Maybe God is calling you to a new depth of intimacy with Him.

Thomas Merton on living alone:  “It is necessary for me to live here alone without a woman, for the silence of the forest (or in my case the courtyard outside my window In NYC) is my bride and the sweet dark warmth of the whole world is my love, and out of the heart of that dark warmth comes that secret which is only heard in silence, but it is the root of all the secrets that are whispered by all the lovers in their beds all over the world. I have an obligation to preserve the stillness, the silence, the poverty, the virginal point of pure nothingness which is at the center of all other loves. I cultivate this plant silently in the middle of the night and water it with psalms and prophecies in silence. It becomes the most beautiful of all trees in the garden…the cosmic axle…the Cross.”