LABELS

I’m sick and tired of “ists”: Leftists, rightists, extremists, lobbyists, political activists, Wall Streetists, Hollywood and media elitists, racists, abortionists, anti-abortionists, masochists, feminists, hedonists, nihilists, narcissists, atheists, religionists, animal activists, spiritualists, gay activists, and any other “ists” you can imagine. Frankly, I’m sick of all of it. What this world needs is more “Jesus-ists.” A people who live non-judgmental, unconditional lives of love, forgiveness, mercy, grace,  and compassion. And more people who are willing to “give up their own lives” and agendas for Jesus. When we look to Him, we will find the Truth. But it is so unfortunate that our own agendas blind us to the Master’s agenda of providing true peace, hope, love, freedom and reconciliation. Let’s stop making God in our own image and live lives conformed to His.

“The terrible thing is that our society, which pretends to be Christian, is in fact rejecting the word of God, enabled to do so by the all-pervading, suffocating noise of its own propaganda, able to make itself believe whatever it wants.” Thomas Merton

Matthew 10:34, 39 "Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword…If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.” Jesus

And yes...I'm an IDEALIST!

Depression Slapped in the Face! PLEASE First Read Sunday July 21 "Game Plan" Blog for Context!

Monday, July 22. Wow…God is faithful! After my rant on Sunday, this is especially powerful. The next day, Monday morning during my time with God, I read the passage below (during my daily Bible reading) from the Gospel of Luke. He knew I needed this! Now this all may sound manic but it’s awesome to me how God’s timing has pinpoint accuracy, especially considering my blog/journal from Sunday. Every day, before I read my Bible, I also read from four different daily devotional books. At the end of this blog, I included from the same date, what Brennan Manning wrote from the collection, “Reflections for Ragamuffins.” My God, who knows me better than anyone else does, heard my heart’s cry. The bedrock of my worry, fear, and depression is lack of faith and trust. As I read the words in Luke I was comforted and convinced that I have nothing to worry about! He will meet all my needs. Again…I’ve known and experienced His supernatural provision for years . So why does it seem the older I get, the more faithless I get? 

I guess I’m learning that I must react differently to each little challenge that comes my way. It’s kind of like each little test is like adding one little pebble to another little pebble that morphs into a seeming insurmountable wall. The challenge really is “one day at a time.” One pebble at a time so it doesn’t even reach the heights of a curb. And to continue with Sunday’s analogy of “game plan”…stay on the field during the game because if the game plan changes, I need to be ready to pounce. One play at a time to victory.

Luke 12:22-34 ²² Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life- whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. ²³ For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. ²⁴ Look at the ravens. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! ²⁵ Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? ²⁶ And if worry can't accomplish a little thing like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things? ²⁷" Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. ²⁸ And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? ²⁹ "And don't be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don't worry about such things. ³⁰ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. ³¹ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. ³²" So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. ³³ "Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it. ³⁴ Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

When will I learn?! Worry is a sin because it is a lack of trust in God and putting myself in the driver’s seat. I worry because I’m trusting in me and I know I can never manipulate life and events to go in my favor. Only God can do that as I walk in submission to Him and His will. And I would so much rather Him be driving than me. HE REALLY DOES CARE! His GPS will never lead to a wrong turn.

Brennan Manning, Reflections for Ragamuffins, July 22 -- “Let me  make  a  suggestion.  Each day take a little time to pause and pray, "Jesus, I thank you for everything ." In this simple prayer there is humility, a deep trust in his love, surrender,  and thanksgiving. It glorifies Jesus and pleases the Father. It is a cry of abandonment. Actually, it is nothing more than what Paul asked of the Ephesians in chapter 5, verse 20: "Always and everywhere giving thanks to God who is our Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ .” As you pray daily in this way, I believe you will hear the Father say something like this: ‘My child, fan the flame of your confidence in me. Keep it burning . I want you to be happy, to come back again and again to this feeling of trust until you are never without it. Trust is an aspect of love. If you love me and believe in my love for you, you will surrender your whole self into my hands like a little child who doesn't even ask, 'Where are you taking me?' but sets off joyously, hand in hand with his mother. How many blessings this happy confidence wins for you, my little one." 

I have practiced Brennan’s suggestion for two days now and I’m telling you, it’s turning things around. With each moment of stressors or conflict before my mind reacts with mental cussing or complaining, I actually say/think, “Jesus, I thank You for everything.” All a part of renewing the mind and creating a heart of gratitude to the One with limitless Love.

The Sparrow's Crumb and Dying to Self -- Friday, June 7, 2013

Yesterday (Thursday) morning I had a terrible attitude. It was Wednesday’s leftovers. I was still sour even after having my alone time with God. I know He is in control, but my heart is always so heavy and self-pitiful. Mostly work related…low pay, hard work, but grateful for a job. You would think that I would have learned by now…It’s the “poor me,” self-pity bullshit all over again. (Sorry if you’re offended by that last sentence, but sometimes there are no better words to describe what it really is!) When will I learn not to be selfish, not strive to impress others, consider others better than myself, look out for other’s interests other than my own? (Philippians 2) When will I truly die to self?!

In the morning as I was walking on my way to the subway on W. 43^rd Street, I saw a sparrow hopping around on the sidewalk. He was battling a crumb to eat that was bigger than his beak, and he won! Quickly I was reminded the words of Jesus…“Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:26-27) That sparrow had more faith and courage than me. 

God will meet my needs. I will battle the crumb and win!

Before I left for work that same morning, I read this in Psalm 119.

⁶⁵You have done many good things for me, Lord, just as you promised.⁶⁶I believe in your commands; now teach me good judgment and knowledge. ⁶⁷I used to wander off until you disciplined me; but now I closely follow your word. ⁶⁸You are good and do only good; teach me your decrees. ⁶⁹Arrogant people smear me with lies, but in truth I obey your commandments with all my heart. ⁷⁰Their hearts are dull and stupid, but I delight in your instructions. ⁷¹My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees. ⁷²Your instructions are more valuable to me than millions in gold and silver.

These verses really spoke to me about my attitude regarding God’s discipline and the importance of having a teachable spirit. Am I going to allow my sufferings to cause me to shake my fist at God? Or will I see suffering as an avenue to a deeper intimacy, obedience and wake up call to pay attention to His decrees? I won’t push the snooze alarm. His instructions are priceless.

I also read this the same morning from Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32: “And ‘don't sin by letting anger control you.’ Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷for anger gives a foothold to the devil…³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. ³²Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

• Don’t be angry? “But life is unfair!” Let it go before bedtime. 
• Rid myself of all bitterness? “But it’s fun to stew!”  That stew will slowly boil your soul to death. 
• Rid myself of harsh words, slander, other types of evil behavior? “Killjoy!” These may seem right and even fun, but they’re not. Putting others down doesn’t really make me feel better about myself. 
• Be Kind? “I’m a pretty nice guy.”  But it’s hard to really be kind. Bite me. 
• Be Tenderhearted? “How about someone healing my tender heart?”  Selfish prig. 
• Forgive? “Do you mean actually ask God to bless someone I can’t stand?” Yes. 

As you see…it’s all a process of dying to self.

On Wednesday, June 5, I texted my friend Marisa to pray for me. Told her I was not in a good place.  She texted back, “Romans 12:17-21.” I read it right away…

 ¹⁷ Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. ¹⁸ Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the LORD. ²⁰ Instead, "If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads." ²¹ Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

When I read it, I was cut to the core. All day I kept hearing God say, “Die to self. Die to self.” Honestly, I hate dying to self. 

In the end, I would rather "die" a death to self than "die" a slow stew soul death.